Have you paid close attention to your behavior?
Can you trace back to when certain behaviors began?
The moment we are born we begin to be conditioned by our caretakers,
food is the first substance used for conditioning. As we grow older any source of pleasure – food, love, attention, recognition, and praise are used as forms of manipulations. We will only receive it if our behavior meets the caretaker’s expectations of us. Punishment is the most effective way to alter someone’s will since we are pleasure-seeking beings.
Ivan Pavlov was a scientist during the 1800s, through surgical procedures he was able to study the gastrointestinal secretion of an animal during its lifespan. This research led Pavlov to develop his most influential work: Classical Conditioning- Pavlov showed that when a bell was sounded each time the dog was fed, the dog learned to associate the sound with the presentation of the food.
Here is an example we can all relate to:
We have associated human attention with the validation of our existence.
Every time we receive attention we feel validated.
Attention as a child meant you were going to be taken care of. When your mother showed you attention, she fed you and took care of your needs.
We altered our state of being to attract this treatment because it meant we survived = Validation of our existence.
But why do we continue to be conditioned as adults?
If we introspect on this new awareness, we can conclude that all of our behavior is altered and not authentic.
If every relationship we have formed is on the bias of the structure, wouldn’t this indicate we have never formed an authentic relationship with anyone?
I encourage you to analyze your behavior, what association does it have to your past? was it a method to effectively receive the love and attention you desired? What have you changed about yourself to feel worthy of love?
Before doing anything ask yourself these question: Why am I doing this? What is the motive behind this action?
The path to self-realization is through constant introspection.