Lately, my quest to unravel the mysteries of the mind and universe has led me into the realms of psychology and philosophy. In my research, I have delved into the works of Erich Fromm and Rene Descartes, two influential figures in these fields.
Erich Fromm, a German-born American psychoanalyst and social philosopher, dedicated himself to exploring the intricate relationship between psychology and society. He is widely recognized for his critical analysis of classical psychoanalysis. On the other hand, Rene Descartes, a French mathematician and philosopher, is renowned for his modern approach to the mind-body dualism.
Fromm emphasized the concept of Love as an “Art” that requires mastery, starting with self-mastery. He regarded love as an action, a practice rooted in human agency and freedom, rather than a result of compulsion. I drew an analogy between taking prescription drugs to alleviate illness and the pursuit of wealth, status, and human affection. Just as medication may temporarily alleviate symptoms without addressing the underlying issues, the chase for material gain fails to fulfill our insatiable desires.
Despite initially believing that I was leading a pragmatic life—having graduated from college and married my long-term partner of 15 years—I eventually realized a profound dissatisfaction, feeling as though I had settled for less than I truly desired.
This realization led me to question the prevailing paradigm of our society. How many of us choose our partners based on convenience or their potential to assist us in the pursuit of material wealth? Do any of us genuinely seek partners to express and receive love?
“love is an action, the practice of a human power, which can be practiced only in freedom and never as the result of a compulsion.”
Fromm
Fromm’s perspective sheds light on this matter: “Love isn’t something natural. Rather, it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn’t merely a feeling; it is a practice.”
In a world where success is often measured by material abundance and the accumulation of degrees and accolades, we find ourselves caught in a repetitive cycle. How do we break free from this cycle and change the future for our children?
While we teach our children the values of hard work and discipline as pathways to success, we often neglect the importance of cultivating a healthy relationship with oneself. Self-care, unfortunately, tends to be overlooked.
So, we find ourselves faced with the question: why is self-care neglected?
Why is self-care neglected?
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