Why is there always something missing? When looking for love and relationships we tend to search for a person who completes us. We search for someone with qualities we don’t possess. The media has done an incredible job of convincing us happiness is a sale away.
The belief in this concept creates a feeling of attachment. We become attached to a source outside of ourselves. We search for relationships to make us feel whole; we seek attention for fulfillment. We crave admiration from others, we want to feel special in other people’s lives. This concept conditions us to believe that joy is outside of ourselves, which creates the feeling of not being whole and complete.
My past relationships represent what was missing internally. I went through life surrounding myself with people I believed possessed a quality I could not obtain. I relied on them for practically everything. They were in my life to save me from what I could not do.
“To be happy means to be self-sufficient” – Aristotle
Important decisions were not made unless I consulted with a friend or a partner. I didn’t realize how codependent I was until these relationships were severed. I had no choice but to listen to my voice. As a result, my self- confidence began to rise. I became more self -sufficient and self-accepting. I began to delve into things I thought weren’t for me. I became more outgoing since I didn’t have anyone to speak on my behalf.
I experienced myself as an autonomous individual, liberated from an ostentatious life filled with hidden insecurity.
“Attachment is the root of all suffering ” – Buddha.
Only by becoming more self-sufficient can we experience freedom and love unconditionally.