How many personas do you possess? While the exact number of personas we embody throughout our lives remains uncertain, recognizing their existence can contribute to attaining inner peace.
Have you ever observed your behavior in the presence of your mother or friends, noticing how it can be completely distinct from the way you act around your partner? Consider how your behavior alters when facing your boss or colleagues. Doesn’t it change depending on who is observing you? This implies that when we interact with different individuals, we adapt masks (personas) and modify our genuine personalities.
This behavior generates a significant amount of dissonance. Why? Because it requires immense energy to maintain the facade of being someone you’re not. Not only that, but it also necessitates constant vigilance to ensure that your mask isn’t unveiled by others. Consequently, inner peace remains elusive.
Social media serves as a prime example of how we meticulously curate our photos to showcase our social status. I, like many others, am guilty of this behavior. We fail to delve beyond the superficial layer of our identities, highlighting our obsession with appearances and shallowness. Our self-worth becomes tied to our physical attributes, leading us to seek validation from others in order to feel satisfied.
There have been instances when my ego was so entwined with the notion of perfection that I was afraid to step outside without makeup or styled hair. I associated my beauty with these physical features, believing that I needed to enhance myself in order to feel beautiful. The conflict between my authentic self and the persona I created became unbearable, prompting me to challenge myself. I started going to work without a hint of makeup and with my naturally curly hair. Initially, people questioned if I was unwell or tired (I have dark circles under my eyes), but over time, they stopped asking. I realized that it required more effort to maintain the mask than to embrace vulnerability.
The first step in gaining control over our emotions is becoming aware. Attention is an expression of love, and we seek it in various aspects of our lives. We mold ourselves into what we believe will be loved.
However, this conditioning begins before we comprehend it as our parents or guardians attempt to regulate our behavior by rewarding us for good deeds and punishing us for bad ones. The more we complied, the more attention we received, and vice versa.
Where do you feel a lack of love in your life?
I encourage you to explore the reasons behind your different personas. Who knows, you might discover your true self in the process.
