If You Have Reasons Why You Love Someone, is it Love to Begin With? Have you ever been in a relationship with someone without having a second option? Have you been in a relationship Without thinking of an ex-partner? Have you been in a relationship Without comparing your current partner to others?
If you answered no, to any of these questions, then you have not given your partner a real chance.
I confess I have been guilty of doing this myself; however, once questioned and examined my motives, I became aware of what I was doing. We never really question the reasons why or how we become attracted to another person. We assume that any type of attraction is good enough for us to embark on a relationship with a person.Our upbringing is often guided by the set of rules instilled in us by our parents.
However, we sometimes overlook their own example, which can result in our reluctance to follow their advice. This can subsequently lead to a lack of communication, affection, and compatibility.
Often, we persist in adhering to relationship paradigms that have consistently proven unsuccessful, simply because we lack an understanding of the inner workings of our own minds. Rather than turning inward, we hastily adopt the advice of others.
However, let us pause and contemplate the following questions: What do I genuinely desire to experience? And is it possible for me to attain this independently? Our strength lies in our ability to be self-sufficient. When we assign someone else the responsibility of fulfilling our needs, we initiate a cycle of codependence that ultimately leads to reliance on external support.
Out of a fear of loneliness, we often enter into relationships and find ourselves seeking solace in the past to evade our present reality. Our tendency to compare past partners with new ones stems from our analytical nature, constantly sorting, judging, and analyzing people as if they were mere objects to serve our personal progression in life.
I had a conversation with some friends, where they shared their dating experiences. They described dates felt like interviews, where questions were asked one after the other about their careers and life goals. For many, this might seem like a normal conversation, since this is the way we introduce ourselves, but when you analyze it, it is not. Here people are asking questions that would determine if they should continue their interaction. There is no genuine interest.
Modern man has transformed himself into a commodity; he experiences his life energy as an investment with which he should make the highest profit, considering his position and the situation on the personality market. He is alienated from himself, from his fellow men and from nature.
Life has no goal except the one to move, no principle except the one of fair exchange no satisfaction except the one to consume.
Erich Fromm
There are many misconceptions about love, one of them is thinking that love is a just a feeling. Erich Fromm address this misconception in The Art of Loving. He describes love to be an action we must practice. Learning to Love, induces thought provoking questions about the way we love, and the reasons why we love.
If we establish a genuine rapport with people, based on love and compassion, we get to know people for who they truly are instead of falling in love with the idea of them. This approach allows us to experience love with less attachment and disappointment, which leads to a better understanding of ourselves others and, ultimately creating better, more solid relationships.
If you have reasons why you love someone, is it love to begin with?
