If You Have Reasons Why You Love Someone, is it Love to Begin With?
If You Have Reasons Why You Love Someone, is it Love to Begin With? Have you ever been in a relationship with someone without having a second option? Have you been in a relationship Without thinking of an ex-partner? Have you been in a relationship Without comparing your current partner to others?
If you answered no, to any of these questions, then you have not given your partner a real chance.
I confess I have been guilty of doing this myself; however, once questioned and examined my motives, I became aware of what I was doing. We never really question the reasons why or how we become attracted to another person. We assume that any type of attraction is good enough for us to embark on a relationship with a person.
We guide ourselves by the set of rules our parents told us while growing up, but we failed to see “their” own example, which will lead us not to follow their advice. Hence, lack of communication, lack of affection, lack of compatibility.
We continue to follow relationship paradigms that have never worked and never will simply because we don’t understand how the inner mechanisms of our minds work. We are quick to follow other’s advice instead of turning to ourselves.
But let us ask the following question:
What do I want to experience?
And could I achieve this on my own?
Our power comes from our ability to be self-sufficient. When we give another person the task of doing something for us, we begin the process of codependence, which only leads to life support.
We commit to relationships from fear of being alone and find ourselves wandering into the past to escape our chosen reality. We compare past partners to new ones because our analytical mind is always sorting, judging, analyzing, and looking for patterns in the people in our lives as if they were objects to be used for the motive of us moving ahead in life.
I had a conversation with some friends, where they shared their dating experiences. They described dates felt like interviews, where questions were asked one after the other about their careers and life goals. For many, this might seem like a normal conversation, since this is the way we introduce ourselves, but when you analyze it, it is not. Here people are asking questions that would determine if they should continue their interaction. There is no genuine interest.
Modern man has transformed himself into a commodity; he experiences his life energy as an investment with which he should make the highest profit, considering his position and the situation on the personality market. He is alienated from himself, from his fellow men and from nature.
Life has no goal except the one to move, no principle except the one of fair exchange no satisfaction except the one to consume.Erich Fromm
We have many misconceptions about love, one of them is thinking that love is a just a feeling. Erich Fromm address this misconception in The Art of Loving. He describes love to be an action we must practice. Learning to Love, induces thought provoking questions about the way we love, and the reasons why we love.
If we establish a genuine rapport with people, based on love and compassion, we get to know people for who they truly are instead of falling in love with the idea of them. This approach allows us to experience love with less attachment and disappointment, which leads to a better understanding of ourselves others and, ultimately creating better, more solid relationships.
If you have reasons why you love someone, is it love to begin with?